I killed time again this morning.  Not because I had nothing to do, and not completely because I was procrastinating.  I killed time because I didn’t have the focus required to do what I wanted to do.  Actually, I had no focus because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.  I have some client tasks: reports, accounts, websites; and some personal tasks: my blog, my website redesign, my photos, but I just didn’t have a goal set out for the day.

Yesterday I nailed it.  I thought of what I wanted to accomplish.  I created a list of things I wanted to get done. And I completed my list.  No excuses.  No delays.  I kissed the frog and sucked it up.  Which brings me to my key thought.  How often do we go through life, with no thought.  How often do we wonder where the day went and what did we actually do?  In starting my own consulting business, I’ve realized I have put a lot of time in autodrive.  Now I can’t do that as much.  I need to remain focused.  I need to have a plan.  And I need to stay on point.  I plan and goal set like crazy.  I write it down, I blog about it but then after some time I forget about it.  Once I even wrote the goals on my mirrors so I would see them every day. Eventually I stopped seeing them.

Okay I’m a little all over the place today in this post.  I apologize.  I’m thinking out loud and I’m not looking for perfection otherwise this never gets published.  The primary goal of this post is more for me than for you.  It’s to help me refocus and again, become aware of me in this space, in this time and doing something conscience about it.

How do you stay focused?

The first time is the last time you’ll feel this way.  It’s not like you’ll never do it again.  And it’s not like you’ll never feel the similar feelings.  But it is the last time you’ll feel the exact same way that you do right now.  Why? Because it’s your first time.  First times come with all sorts of feelings depending on what it is.

Sunday I run in my first marathon.  That’s 26.2 miles. That’s 8 miles further than I’ve ever run.  I’m nervous, anxious, excited, curious, and in wonderment (to mention just a few).  I go from minimizing it by saying I’ve trained well and properly and I know I can do it, to being overwhelmed by the pure excitement of it all (and I still have 2 more days to go before it’s the day of).  And if and when I run my next marathon, I’m sure I will be excited and anxious and curious and in wonderment as well, however it won’t be the same.  Because this is the first time.  I have nothing to base it on.  My second race, I’ll be able to compare to my first race.  I’ve run 5Ks, a 10K and even a half marathon by now, and although I have some comparison with those because they are running events, they are not equal to my marathon.

I’m an avid traveler.  Every year I need to have an adventure.  But I still remember my first trip when I moved to Australia in 2007.  It’s been over a decade, but I can still recall that anxiety, nervousness, worry, and very much the excitement.  My dreams, when I did sleep, were active and strange.  I wasn’t sure what I was getting into.  It was my first trip outside of the country.  And I was leaving for a year.  With 500 AUD in my pocket.  I’ve been to over a dozen other countries by now and I still have excitement the night before, but it’s not the same.  The only way I relive that feeling is when I land in a new airport and need to figure my way around.  That lasts for about 5 minutes then I drop into traveler mode and everything is familiar even in the unfamiliar.

Although all those crazy and uneasy feelings are uncomfortable to say the least, I say take a moment to enjoy them.  My head feels like it will explode, my heart beats so loud I swear people can see it through my chest, and sometimes I swear I’ll just pass out from the shear excitement, but I will resist the urge to ignore or control it (for a minute).  After all, this will be the last time I feel this way because it’s my first time to experience it.

The other day, I got a message from someone dear and close to me, “…when you have rough days and stressful ones, do you find writing it all down to get it out helps?”

I wanted to share my answer because it’s something I hold fundamental to myself even though I may not be able to practice it every second (just every other second). Perspective is everything.

——

Hey there got your message, yeah writing helps as does keeping things in perspective helps alot. Shitty days happen to the best of us. What keeps me sane is realizing the current situation is temporary and that I have control over what happens next or how I handle the situation.

For example, I’ve seen people who live in somewhat poverty which they can’t control but are rather relatively happy in their situation because they choose to be. [some people can't be happy no matter what their situation]

Writing does help me as long as it gives me a thoughtful introspection into the situation and what can be done next. If I write to lament on the situation and think of it as hopeless it turns into more of
anguished poetry instead of an improvement.

Perspective is what saves me every time. Realizing the mood I’m in is only temporary (some days can be pretty grim). Realizing if what I’m currently striving for, if it doesn’t work out, it won’t be the end of all things. Also learning or trying to learn from my mistakes. I’ve repeated a few mistakes in my life, but I consider it evolution because I keep learning more and more. Some days I’m just not ready to fully understand something as much as I think I am. Does that make sense?

Having someone to talk with is great. Having someone who is understanding AND gives you a new perspective is huge. It’s not about just having a positive outlook on something. We can smile at a problem all we want and not have anything get better. It’s about changing what isn’t working and doing something different.

To date, I’ve raised $1,505 (only $1,000 more to go to reach my minimum), ran 12 miles (14.2 more to go to reach my 26.2 goal) and 49 days of training done with 64 days remaining until the marathon in Napa. My Chevy’s event raising around $500 (that means people spent about $2000 on food. Fabulous!).
Alec and I are having a party in January to celebrate my birthday and as a fundraiser complete with door prizes.

We haven’t been without some injuries. Alec is working on his knee with Physical Therapy and I’ve seen the improvements of my PT with my adductors. They would hurt partially during a run and hurt a hell of a lot after (to the point it hurt to walk). With two sessions and plenty of exercises, I’m doing much better.

It’s been a good time and I’m looking forward to more runs. The Facebook group gets more updates with photos and small updates, join to keep up to date.

-Corinne

Just spent the evening at Chevys eating good food with great company. I’m looking forward to finding out what my tally is for the day. Yesterday I spent the morning hiking up and down El Camino around the restaurant talking with the local businesses and giving them the flyer. I wonder how many people actually used it. Some people were quite receptive to the idea, atleast just listening. Others not so much. I needed a break after my 2.5 hours of walking around talking to people. I have more sympathy to people who do this for a living (“cold calling people for a cause”).

Tonight, I was able to see friends I haven’t seen in a while and talk with other marathoners. And really, while the fundraising is the most important reason for the night at Chevys, seeing my friends is a definite bonus.

Thank you all for coming by. I really do appreciate as do all people who this money will be going to.

-Corinne

Eat in or take out at Chevys in Mountain View on Thursday December 17th from 11am to 9pm, and they’ll donate 25% of your bill (food only) to Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, which helps me reach my goal of raising $4,500 with Team in Training (No I don’t plan to raise all that in one night but this will definitely help).

Come any time between 11am and 9pm and bring a print out from this link (there should be extras if you forget but try to remember).

PDF: http://www.corinnee.com/imgs/Chevys_fundraising_flyer.pdf

IMG: http://www.corinnee.com/imgs/Chevys_fundraising_flyer.jpg

(there are 4 flyers per sheet. Print, cut and share).

Eat in or take out, bring a friend, bring a whole bunch of friends, coworkers or strangers you meet on the street. It all counts.

Please note if you are coming so I can let the restaurant know and they will make sure they have enough people there.

Who knew eating a tasty meal could help cure blood cancers?

Facebook Event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=200757184864 to RSVP (rsvp not required)

We’ll be there for dinner say around 7pm if you want to join us.

Address: 2116 W. El Camino Real Mountain View, CA 94040
650-691-9955 650-691-9874

Website: http://www.chevys.com/map.aspx?locationID=64

Last year, when a friend approached me about running something longer than 3 miles, I told them I think I would ever only want to run 10k. I’d get bored with running something farther I thought. But in all honesty, I didn’t think I could actually run a marathon. I didn’t think I was disciplined enough to train. Not athletic enough to represent. I didn’t think of myself as a runner even though I ran on a semi-irregular basis. That has now changed.

This past Thursday on Thanksgiving, I ran my first 10k race. And I ran it in an hour. And if felt pretty darn good. I wanted more. I also finally considered myself as a runner. I didn’t feel like I was pushing myself too hard in the run. I’ve done 5k’s in the past where it seemed so hard and I had to push myself through it. The 10k, was a run, a fun run and with a goal I knew I could reach.

Not to be immodest, but you know what? I’m proud of myself. I’ve reached a goal I wasn’t sure I could meet. It’s not that the 10k was the goal, or the running it in 60 minutes, it was that I enjoyed the act of running. It felt pleasant, natural and freeing. I just smile when I think of it.

I’m looking forward to my next run.

How it started

I originally signed up for the Napa Valley 2010 marathon with Team In Training to get in better health and have the proper training I knew I could get from TnT. What I didn’t realize is how many people would open up to me about their own stories about living with cancer and their own remissions.

Team In Training’s Role

Team In Training not only helps athletes train for their selected sport, in my case a 26.2 mile run, they also raise funds to help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma.

Where you come in

In trade for TnT’s fine coaches and mentors, I’m given the task to help fund-raise for the cause. My minimum goal is $2,500. What I don’t reach through donations, I’ll be writing tax-free donation check from myself. I know people aren’t exactly flush right now for cash, so whatever you can donate I will appreciate. Also, if you have stories of your own, please share them with me here. You will continue to be my inspiration over the next few months while I increase my daily mileage from 3 miles up to eventually 26.

I also believe in sharing the love where I can. So for donations I’m offering two services:

1. Chair massages. I’m a certified massage therapist. I can come by your business if you are local (Silicon Valley) and give chair massages for donations.

2. 1 on 1 consulting. I’m also a Web Presence Strategist. For 30 minutes I can help you with Facebook (privacy, profiles, you name it), LinkedIn (optimizing your profile for potential employers), Twitter (a how-to and get you started) and a variety of other Social Media platforms. Or I can work with you on creating a strategy for your business to help you get more clients and understand your customer’s needs. All for a donation of your own choosing.

My  job for the next 17 weeks

Not only will I be increasing my training time and distance per week, I’ll continue to post updates on how the training and fund raising is going. I’ll put some updates on the Team In Training site, but for more regular updates, please continue to follow this blog. Or sign up to follow me on Twitter or become a fan on my Facebook page.  So many options!

Lots of love and thank you for all your support!

Corinne

Oh sweet Paris, how you have smitten my heart. You are the only city I’ve returned to on my many travels around the world with the intention to visit again. And you’ve smitten my husband as well! Thank you, you dear sweet city.

You had us from the start. We got off the Metro to be graced by one of your many wonderful treasures, the Louvre. We didn’t go inside this time, but we were able to peer in through the windows on our way from the Metro station.

As with last time, I had no problem with the Parisian attitude I used to be warned about.  Maybe it’s because I start every interaction with Bonjour and Parle vous anglais? The French love their language and appreciate atleast the attempt and acknowledgment that we are in a nonEnglish speaking country.  Besides, your language is beautiful, people should try to learn a few polite phrases.

Paris, you have so much history, culture and beauty that you put right infront of our faces.   As we walked through Montepart with Alec’s friend Noelwynn, we were graced by the view of and from  Sacré-Cœur (Sacred Heart), one of the second most known tourist places in Paris (oddly I hadn’t heard of it).   Perched high above the city, we could see the Seine, Notre Dame, the Eiffel tower, many of your beautiful sites. We spent hours walking past landmarks like the Opera House (and one of the most expensive cafe’s in Paris which has a view of the Opera House), Le Moulin Rouge, Parisian Vineyards and the old streets beyond the glamour of Paris with the painters selling their art. I can’t wait to walk through those streets again.

And your passion and life!  What can I say?  The experience of being surrounded by a hundred or so people celebrating a unity with drums, dancing and praise.  I have no idea what it was all about, a Brazilian celebration maybe?  Whatever the reason, being surrounded by the drums, whistles and people made me want to dance and weep with the sheer energy from it.

Last time I had visited your beautiful city, I didn’t go up the towers of Notre Dame.  This time I did.  And continuing with the apparent theme of our honeymoon, winding staircases, we climbed up and up the tower, the staircase getting more and more narrow and the stairs changing from wood to stonework.  Guarding from above are the gargoyles leaning out over the city.

Tucked behind Notre Dame is the Isle of Saint Louis. Here resides another one of your hidden gem’s Paris, Le Flore en L’Isle. Here we had some amazing crepes, fascinating ice cream and sorbet and a wonderful waiter. We were told to seek out this place by Parisians and tourists and it did not fail to impress us with the view of river and the accordion player a short distance away.

Walking in your parks, like Jardin du Luxembourg, makes us want to live here. The statues, the art, the open space of your parks, Alec playing in the leaves trying to catch them falling in the air just reminds us of what it’s like to be alive, and lucky to have the experiences we are having.

We finished our short but full stay in your beautiful city with a glass of champagne (for me) and a Johnny Walker Black (for Alec) at the top of the Concorde Hotel, to watch the Eiffel Tower light up and sparkle. Thank you for the wonderful stay. Until next time, au revoir!

I’ve learned a few things over the past few days of traveling.

1. Make sure the car number on the train matches your ticket, not just the bed number. We almost tried to kick a guy out of his bed on our way to Berlin because we had the wrong train car. Oops! My bad, luckily he wasn’t in the bed when we came to claim it.

2. Take atleast one taxi ride in every city you are in. We’ve been walking it or using the subway. Last night coming back from dinner we decided to get a cab. It was a wonderful ride past lit up statues of gigantic sizes and a history I’ve only read about. You also get a good feel for the city as well being the passenger in a taxi…Is it crazy like Shanghai or calm like Berlin?

3.Losing my iPhone is an exercise of panic, self denial and more denial that it is really gone. I still haven’t given up yet and hope it will be found in The Netherlands.

4. You have to be high or blind to have sex with one of the girls in Amsterdam’s red light district. They stand in the windows like Rocky Horror Picture Show mannequin.

5. Cobblestones and rolling suitcases suck. I’m going back to the backpack, I just need to figure out how not feel like a packmule when carrying my DSLR camera and laptop. Yeah I know pack less.

6. Buy the boots in Amsterdam/Haarlem. Luxembourg they are too expensive and Berlin doesn’t have the same sense of style.

7. Hanging out at the Berlin Zoo while killing time before checking in is great. As long as you don’t get the girly man drink that is 3% alcohol and green.

8. Shopping with your husband is as much fun as shopping with your boyfriend. Alec and I checked out the KaDeWe (ka-day-vay) store in Berlin. It’s 7 levels owned by one company. And there are sections dedicated to one thing. Kim there is a whole big section on cheese. You would have loved it. I walked around in it twice inhaling all the aroma of cheese and milk.

9. Some countries have interesting traditions. Spendings Saturdays in an air conditioned mall is an American one. Eating raw herring is one from the Netherlands.
Penny, a friend I met in Gabon, met at us the train station to take us on a drive to the beach and to have our time with new herring. Raw herring actually, and honestly it wasn’t half bad, especially between two pieces of bread with raw onions and pickels. How’s that for a honeymoon kiss with that breath! (there are pictures but they are on the other camera… I swear!)

10. I realized we often live in a world of two dimensions and limited understanding about time travel. Amsterdam is another city with canals and old architecture. The layered dimensions of the buildings, one infront of the other, others back behind, is a real treat in our seemingly two dimension world of “this high and this wide”. Standing on a street and looking up and seeing this depth is just a treat for the eyes. And when it sinks in on how old something can really be, it’s mind blowing. It didn’t really sink in until we got to Berlin. yeah it’s an old city that has “recently” been rebuilt due to the war.

11. It’s less tiring knowing what language you can butcher while visiting a country. Luxembourg proved difficult to know what language I should try to butcher. Should it be French, German or their traditional language of Letzebuergesch? Eventually I just apologized with sputtering English and asked for something off the menu by pointing.

12. Reading a book that has a storyline that takes place in the 80’s to early 2000 in Afghanistan can mess up your sense of time and place while on vacation. I’m currently reading “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hossenini. He wrote “The Kite Runner”. Such a good, I can’t put it down!

I would like to leave you with two final pictures.