I killed time again this morning.  Not because I had nothing to do, and not completely because I was procrastinating.  I killed time because I didn’t have the focus required to do what I wanted to do.  Actually, I had no focus because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.  I have some client tasks: reports, accounts, websites; and some personal tasks: my blog, my website redesign, my photos, but I just didn’t have a goal set out for the day.

Yesterday I nailed it.  I thought of what I wanted to accomplish.  I created a list of things I wanted to get done. And I completed my list.  No excuses.  No delays.  I kissed the frog and sucked it up.  Which brings me to my key thought.  How often do we go through life, with no thought.  How often do we wonder where the day went and what did we actually do?  In starting my own consulting business, I’ve realized I have put a lot of time in autodrive.  Now I can’t do that as much.  I need to remain focused.  I need to have a plan.  And I need to stay on point.  I plan and goal set like crazy.  I write it down, I blog about it but then after some time I forget about it.  Once I even wrote the goals on my mirrors so I would see them every day. Eventually I stopped seeing them.

Okay I’m a little all over the place today in this post.  I apologize.  I’m thinking out loud and I’m not looking for perfection otherwise this never gets published.  The primary goal of this post is more for me than for you.  It’s to help me refocus and again, become aware of me in this space, in this time and doing something conscience about it.

How do you stay focused?

The first time is the last time you’ll feel this way.  It’s not like you’ll never do it again.  And it’s not like you’ll never feel the similar feelings.  But it is the last time you’ll feel the exact same way that you do right now.  Why? Because it’s your first time.  First times come with all sorts of feelings depending on what it is.

Sunday I run in my first marathon.  That’s 26.2 miles. That’s 8 miles further than I’ve ever run.  I’m nervous, anxious, excited, curious, and in wonderment (to mention just a few).  I go from minimizing it by saying I’ve trained well and properly and I know I can do it, to being overwhelmed by the pure excitement of it all (and I still have 2 more days to go before it’s the day of).  And if and when I run my next marathon, I’m sure I will be excited and anxious and curious and in wonderment as well, however it won’t be the same.  Because this is the first time.  I have nothing to base it on.  My second race, I’ll be able to compare to my first race.  I’ve run 5Ks, a 10K and even a half marathon by now, and although I have some comparison with those because they are running events, they are not equal to my marathon.

I’m an avid traveler.  Every year I need to have an adventure.  But I still remember my first trip when I moved to Australia in 2007.  It’s been over a decade, but I can still recall that anxiety, nervousness, worry, and very much the excitement.  My dreams, when I did sleep, were active and strange.  I wasn’t sure what I was getting into.  It was my first trip outside of the country.  And I was leaving for a year.  With 500 AUD in my pocket.  I’ve been to over a dozen other countries by now and I still have excitement the night before, but it’s not the same.  The only way I relive that feeling is when I land in a new airport and need to figure my way around.  That lasts for about 5 minutes then I drop into traveler mode and everything is familiar even in the unfamiliar.

Although all those crazy and uneasy feelings are uncomfortable to say the least, I say take a moment to enjoy them.  My head feels like it will explode, my heart beats so loud I swear people can see it through my chest, and sometimes I swear I’ll just pass out from the shear excitement, but I will resist the urge to ignore or control it (for a minute).  After all, this will be the last time I feel this way because it’s my first time to experience it.

The other day, I got a message from someone dear and close to me, “…when you have rough days and stressful ones, do you find writing it all down to get it out helps?”

I wanted to share my answer because it’s something I hold fundamental to myself even though I may not be able to practice it every second (just every other second). Perspective is everything.

——

Hey there got your message, yeah writing helps as does keeping things in perspective helps alot. Shitty days happen to the best of us. What keeps me sane is realizing the current situation is temporary and that I have control over what happens next or how I handle the situation.

For example, I’ve seen people who live in somewhat poverty which they can’t control but are rather relatively happy in their situation because they choose to be. [some people can't be happy no matter what their situation]

Writing does help me as long as it gives me a thoughtful introspection into the situation and what can be done next. If I write to lament on the situation and think of it as hopeless it turns into more of
anguished poetry instead of an improvement.

Perspective is what saves me every time. Realizing the mood I’m in is only temporary (some days can be pretty grim). Realizing if what I’m currently striving for, if it doesn’t work out, it won’t be the end of all things. Also learning or trying to learn from my mistakes. I’ve repeated a few mistakes in my life, but I consider it evolution because I keep learning more and more. Some days I’m just not ready to fully understand something as much as I think I am. Does that make sense?

Having someone to talk with is great. Having someone who is understanding AND gives you a new perspective is huge. It’s not about just having a positive outlook on something. We can smile at a problem all we want and not have anything get better. It’s about changing what isn’t working and doing something different.

We had such a good time in Bruges we decided to extend our time there by one more night. Which resulted in a nice change from a quiet Bed and Breakfast to a noisy hostel. I know that sounds like it went from a positive to a negative, but really there is more to it. Although our B&B provided for a private and quiet stay, the other people who stayed there were also quite quiet.

I blame it on the language barrier as they were some what chatty amongst each other but when I asked them a question, they would politely answer and then continue eating their breakfast. In the hostel however, everyone we talked with knew well enough English to carry on a conversation. We ended up meeting up with a girl we passed earlier in the day while bike riding (more on that later) and we joined her and two of her new friends (from Cameroon and the world it could be said) for a couple of beers and good story telling. Thank you Sam, Atom Emmanuel and MacIntosh.

A big thank you goes to Jan and Wies (pronounced Yawn and Weez). These are the uncle and aunt to Frederik (a coworker and friend from eBay). Jan met us our first morning in Bruges to guide us around the city. He was fabulous! Thursday morning he showed us some of his favourite places like the Convent lawn and the rose garden in the “old folks home”. He covered information that the boat driver didn’t. We took a boat ride Friday morning along the canals, highly recommended. For example, anyone who has been to Bruges and has taken the boat ride along the canal, quite possibly had two of the smallest windows in Bruges pointed out to them. However, did they know that along the canal in that same location is where the boats were stopped and taxed? Maybe you did know that and our boat guide missed it. But because of Jan, we knew more of the city.

Jan’s love for Bruges is self evident. He would talk about how it wasn’t really important to leave Bruges for a vacation when the weather is good. He had the sea 10-20 minutes away where he could paint and be away from all the people. He had plenty of places where he could bike and enjoy a beer and pipe. And when he wanted the international crowd, he could just spend his time in the city center of medieval portion of town and be surrounded by visitors from many different countries.
Sounds grand doesn’t it?

On the afternoon of Thursday, Wies joined us to walk around the outer borders of the town center and again we stopped at another local pub to have a beer. Now for those of you who know me, I’m not much of a beer drinker, but I have to admit I quite enjoy Belgian beers! There are ones that taste like cherries (Mystic) and others that are lovely and sweet like Bourgogne des Flandres. And each beer has it’s particular glass it needs to be served in. I can see a future shopping trip with Frederik, my California local Belgian.

Friday morning, Alec and I were on own to to check out of our B & B, check in into the hostel, wander the streets. climb the Belfry (you must watch “In Bruges to fully enjoy the Belfry Tower and the 366 stairs), and take a 30 minute boat ride along the canal.

In the afternoon, Jan joined us at the B&B to escort us to his own house just outside of the city center and pick up the bikes for our Friday afternoon ride. We rode through Dammes and further out to another favourite beer stop of Jan’s. What a beautiful ride with wonderful scenery! The fields of corn and cows (not in the same field of course), the long straight as an arrow rows of trees lining a boulevard created for bikes and cars (pretty much the width of some of our bike lanes at home). The canal next to us at times with it’s serene calm waters. It was hard to believe this was the main entry from the sea for boats to bring products into Bruges. There was nothing more ideal than this trip other than maybe Disney animated birds floating over my shoulders.

Upon returning to Jans and Wies’ home, Wies had created for us a wonderful dinner of celery soup and a traditional Belgian dish of shrimp stuffed into tomatoes and frites (of course!). Thank you again to Frederik for introducing us to Jan and Wies. They made our trip to Bruges the most memorable.

Next we are off to Amsterdam and Haarlem to visit Penny and Vincent. Penny, I met while I was in Gabon and she was managing the gorilla island of Evengue. We’ve kept in touch over the years and she’s offered us her place to stay while we are in town.

Looking forward to it!

Last night I started the experiment. I took a shower and used the Wen conditioning product. First impressions? Kinda weird waiting for lather when you know there will be none. The product’s aroma is “bright” (think like menthol) and a small shower stall can bring tears to one’s eyes. Tonight it wasn’t so bad, probably because I’m used to it. I read that often people don’t use enough of the product to really actually clean the hair, so I made sure I laid it on thick. After I was done, I wanted to see what my hair would do if it was completely on it’s own. Usually it turns into a ball of fuzz and curls with a height akin to Marge Simpson. There were no surprises this morning, my hair was tall, frizzy and curly. As usual. So I wetted it down and added some of the product as suggested by the instructions. I didn’t want to add too much because it felt like it was weighing my hair down. I should have added more. As the day went on, so did the expanse of my hair. By the end of the day it was quite wide and bushy, but it was still soft!

Tonight I washed my hair again after volleyball and added some product to the wet hair. As I type, it’s gotten bushy and fuzzy again, but it feels wonderful and not dry. Maybe I need to not comb it in the shower (I rarely comb my hair because of the natural curls) and next I try styling it a bit more. Next week I’ll try some of the other products that were sent in the package. But ideally I’d like to stick to one product for my hair if possible. I’m tired of the shampoo, conditioner, leave in conditioner, mousse and or gel. No wonder I don’t wear much for make up, I just don’t have the time!

I’m going camping this weekend, so we’ll see how well everything holds up. I’m not sold on it, but still willing to continue the experiment. I have 60 days before I can return it, might as well keep going!

Okay, I’ll admit it. I ordered something off late night television. Well actually this time it wasn’t late night, it was 3pm and I was taking a break from working from home for the day. But I have ordered from late night TV before. The first time it was the Ronco rotisserie, which turned out to be a good purchase. I ordered two, one for me and one for my Mom for Christmas, and they sent and charged me for three. Luckily I had a coworker who bought it off me. The second time I bought makeup from a late night paid advertisement spot for Bare Minerals. You know, the make-up that is made of dirt/minerals before dirt/minerals were in? So considering both of these purchases were well spent (I still use the Bare Minerals on my face to this day), I thought why not try again?

Anyone who knows me, knows what an evolution my hair has been. I hated it growing up, was made fun of for it on a regular basis and finally in college, came to accept it when my friends accepted me. To this day, I love it, but, well like any wild animal, it requires some training. This training involves deep moisturizing shampoo and conditioner and usually atleast two different kinds of hair products to leave in. Every few months, my hair gets used to this treatment and decides to misbehave thus leading me to buy another round of new and improved products. Lately I have been using Biologe, before that Neutrogena and Infusium 23. Today I will try Wen, and document my results as we go.

First off, I am not affiliated with Wen what-so-ever. I’m not getting kickbacks or perks. I just haven’t written in my blog in a while and thought this might be a fun endeavor. I’m not going to write about my upcoming wedding, so my hair it is. (some things I like to remain somewhat private for now).

So here is a picture of me from this past weekend.  I’m not crazy about it, but I’m less crazy about the photo I could have used from today.  I didn’t try with my hair today it’s quite all frizzed out and poufy.  The complaint with my hair lately?  Seems kinda frizzy often and big.  It doesn’t feel super soft unless it’s frizzy and big and I am just not having that much fun with it.  My hair is naturally curly and when the product works, my hair rocks it.  So tonight I will wash it with the Wen Cleansing Conditioner.  And tomorrow I’ll let you know how it went.

Tomorrow morning I want to wake up recharged, excited and looking forward to the day. I want to get up early enough to get in a good 1-1 1/2 hour workout. I’ll come home and have some oatmeal or cereal and then head into a job I find joy in. I want my job to challenge me, to help me grow, to give me purpose for spending 6-8 hours there. I want to converse with friends during the day, brainstorm, come up with new ideas, create. I want to come home at a reasonable hour with plenty of energy. I would like an evening of making dinner and working on other projects that interest me and help fulfill my life. I’d like to be engaged enough to hold a conversation with Alec and spend quality time with him. Before going to bed, I would like to meditate for 10-30 minutes in solitude. Before bed, I will have the energy to wash my face, brush my teeth, and put lotion on my skin. Upon crawling into bed, sleep will come quickly and the night will be filled with pleasant dreams.

Today, in all respects, was not “tomorrow”. Tomorrow will be my new “today”.

One can have great conversations with oneself while cleaning the shower. This might be due to the fumes inhaled in a close proximity or just the time spent scrubbing the scum off the shower walls leaves space for one to contemplate other things in life. This week has been a week of enlightenment, of sorts.

Tuesday and Wednesday I was in a conference room with about 16 other people discussing our proclivity to act in times of perfect harmony and in chaos. This Project Leadership, Management and Communications class covered more details than this, but this is what stood out to me the most. When there is harmony in the world, I’m inclined to be a directing and assertive person. This doesn’t necessary mean bossy and arrogant but the typical characteristics of self-confident, ambitious, quick to act and risk taker seemed to resonate with my true personality. Well the true personality I’ve grown and molded over the years. I haven’t always been like this. I remember being a follower more and wanting more acceptance than I do now. Maybe my true personalty of a risk taker was always there but I didn’t have the right environment to allow it to flourish. When I graduated from high school, I did leave my town of 200 to a city of 800,000 and never came back. Not that I don’t love where I came from, but it’s my past not future.

On Friday, I watched a video where Loic le Meur talks with Seth Godin while attending the TED conference going on this week. I am currently reading Seth’s book, Tribe, which is proving to be inspiring for an entrepreneur like me. Many things Seth writes about gives me plenty of thinking material however in this interview, something he says really drives home to me. “Being best in the world in something, is extremely valuable.  Being fifth best is not very valuable.” He doesn’t mean you have to be the best in the whole entire world with all things included or don’t even try at all. He means you have to be the best in your world right now. Now that’s something to aim for, something with possibilities. If I want to be a travel writer, I should aim to be the best in my world right now. I don’t have to try to write better than Rolf Potts, we’re not part of the same world. Maybe some day but not now. Right now I need to focus on being the best travel writer for those who read my blog, my stories, those who I expose this to world. That’s doable. Now I can’t be the best if I’m spending my time on things that don’t really matter, or spreading myself thin.

Which leads me back to my shower cleaning self conversation. I have this tendency in my life to do things half-assed. Did I study hard in college and university, no. Why not? Well if I studied hard and didn’t get the great grade I had nothing to excuse it for. If I didn’t start hard and didn’t get the great grade, I could always tell myself if I studied harder I could have done better. There was always an opening for going up. Same thing will all these other ventures I have going on.

• This website
• beVicarious.com (nothing is there yet but I have ideas)
• crazytravelstories.com (send me your crazy travel stories with pics if you like and I’ll post them)
• ecofriendlyhints.com (a website where you will eventually finding things eco-friendly for home and life)
• working on a patent (can’t talk about it right now)
• playing guitar (I’ve had it for years now I’m learning how to play it)
• selling my photos
• changing careers (I’m thinking Director of Product Development some day. I know I can learn languages but Product Development I’ve never done in a formal sense)

You see, all these things are important to me (well guitar playing is not really of the same caliber as the other items) and they are all things I want to accomplish. But if I’m working towards all of them right now will I actually achieve any of them? Probably not. I could probably work on one or two but all of them, I’m setting myself up for failure. But if I fail, I can always say I had too many things going on. If I only narrowed it down, it would have been done.

So you see my Enlightenment here right? I know my skills. I know I’m able. I just need to focus to achieve.

Links so you didn’t get distracted from the blog:

• Project Leadership, Management and Communications class
• The video interview with Seth and Loic at TED
• The book Tribe by Seth Godin.
• TED Talks
• ecoFriendlyHints
• CrazyTravelStories
• Selling my photos

11 of us hiked Half Dome this weekend. It was Haig, Karineh, Eddy, Kim, Marc, Laila, John, Jim, Bert and myself. We started on the trail around 6:15 and ended at various times later. John, Karineh and I ended around 10 1/2 hours later.

The hike starts with a gradual climb on a concrete path. It was still dark at this point. Eventually it leads to a water fountain and sink. A great place to fill up any water (it tastes great!). From here start the stairs go up and up past the two sets of water falls. The stairs are uneven, tilted and make for interesting walking. The first set of falls are Vernal Falls then Nevada Falls. There wasn’t much water running at this time in the season but it was still pretty. All the way to Half Dome the trail varies from stairs, sandy cobblestones, switchbacks and even a flattened sandy area up by the campsites (past the waterfalls). There is some shade for sun reprieve and even a little more easy going hiking but that doesn’t last longer than 30 minutes to an hour. The rest of the trip is pretty much up in one form or another. Which is what makes it fun.

The trick with Half Dome, which alot of people are learning, is to start very early. A 4-5 am start is not unheard of, and if you want to avoid the heat of the day and the throng of people, it’s the best way to go. The other trick to make sure you bring enough water and food for the day, but not to over do it. I always end up bringing too much water (around a gallon this time) and I end up paying for it by a heavy bag. But I usually give away a 1/2 litre to people I see on the trail because they just don’t bring enough. Full fingered gloves are helpful in avoiding blisters on your fingers. I brought half fingered weight lifting gloves this time but I got blisters from the cables on the way up and down. The cables can be difficult if you don’t plan it right. Take it slow and steady breaking on the planks or posts when you can. Going hand over hand will help maximize strength and allow people to go past you on their way down if they going down the inside of the cables. If you can handle it, going down the outside of the chain on the way down, seems easier and oddly safer to me. Again two hands always on the chain and keeping view of what’s infront. Butt first works for me, but for John he walked more forward. It was a long hike back but we made with not too many aches and pains. I think it would be lovely to skip the dome once and just do the falls to hang out at them and enjoy their nice cool water. Maybe next time.

We stayed at Cedar Park Lodge in El Portal and picked up pizza from Yosemite View Lodge/Pizza shop. (I’ll add the name when I find it).

John, Joe and I swung by James Lick Observatory on the way home because we tried a new windier way home (which will probably be the last time we do that. It started promising and after 2-3 hours of it, well that was just too much!

Thanks all for coming on the trip and I’ll add links to everyones photos when I get them.

-Corinne

Check out my photos

John’s photos
Haig’s Photos

Last you read, we were still painting the house… well that’s not completely done yet but it’s good enough for now.  Actually good enough for us to host our first party on Aug 4th.  We think around 60+ people came by and it was sooo good to see people we haven’t seen in a long time.  Alec and I were busy but I felt this time I had a good opportunity to hang out with people and chat.  I think everyone helping out really made that happen.  Thanks gang!

Other news is the Canadian Passport Office rejected my application that I sent at the beginning of July because I wasn’t looking unhappy enough… oh I mean my teeth were showing.  I was crushed when I opened the DHL package because I knew it was my passport, I just didn’t realize it was the old one.  As far as the website seemed to say, I had to go to Quebec to renew it and it would take two weeks.  I emailed the Cdn Consulate in SF and called some Canadian numbers and finally yesterday I was able to reach a real live human being.  My angel said I could renew in person in Canada and have it done in 3 days for an extra $30.  I could have hugged him!  Not only did this mean I would have my passport in time for Egypt (more on that later), I could actually make it to my cousin’s wedding in Sept.  I haven’t seen my extended in a while, this was really great news.

So I last night I bought my ticket for Edmonton and I will be crashing at Rachael’s that week (thanks Rachy!) and working remotely.  I’m there at the end of Aug and Alec will fly into Edmonton Thursday night to join me at the wedding.  For now, this is a huge load off my mind.

I mentioned Egypt.  On Oct 11, I fly out on Virgin Atlantic to London to then catch a flight later in the day for Cairo.  I’ll be meeting up with Hazem, a coworker from Fatbrain and he and his wife, Hala, will be joining me down the Nile from Luxor to Aswan, then we fly back to Cairo and I spend a few days there at their house, checking out the local splendors.  From there I head to Sharm and hopefully get some scuba diving, snorkeling and hiking in.. oh yeah some RnR too!  On Oct 24th I fly back to London and spend the day and night there to leave for San Francisco the next day (25th).

I’m going alone on this trip since Tanya is unable to make it.  (this was all her idea to go to Egypt and I hopped on board to take the trip myself… oh well).  It shouldn’t be too bad since I will have Hazem and Hala there for part of the time.  I just like to enjoy trips with people who share the excitement and boy are Hazem and Hala excited.  It’s infectious!

So there you are up to date more or less.  Once we get the house cleaned up from post party festivities, I’ll take some more pics so you have an idea how far we got.   And stay posted for Egypt details!

Til next time,
Take Care and Salam!

-C